The Haunted Man
CHAPTER I - The Gift Bestowed
Everybody said so.
Far be it from me to assert that what everybody says must be true. Everybody
is, often, as likely to be wrong as right. In the general experience, everybody
has been wrong so often, and it has taken, in most instances, such a weary while
to find out how wrong, that the authority is proved to be fallible. Everybody
may sometimes be right; “but that’s no rule,” as the ghost of Giles Scroggins
says in the ballad.
The dread word, GHOST, recalls me.
Everybody said he looked like a haunted man. The extent of my present claim for
everybody is, that they were so far right. He did.
Who could have seen his hollow cheek; his sunken brilliant eye; his
black-attired figure, indefinably grim, although well-knit and
well-proportioned; his grizzled hair hanging, like tangled sea-weed, about his
face, - as if he had been, through his whole life, a lonely mark for the chafing
and beating of the great deep of humanity, - but might have said he looked like
a haunted man?
Who could have observed his manner, taciturn, thoughtful, gloomy, shadowed by
habitual reserve, retiring always and jocund never, with a distraught air of
reverting to a bygone place and time, or of listening to some old echoes in his
mind, but might have said it was the manner of a haunted man?
Who could have heard his voice, slow-speaking, deep, and grave, with a natural
fulness and melody in it which he seemed to set himself against and stop, but
might have said it was the voice of a haunted man?
Who that had seen him in his inner chamber, part library and part laboratory, -
for he was, as the world knew, far and wide, a learned man in chemistry, and a
teacher on whose lips and hands a crowd of aspiring ears and eyes hung daily, -
who that had seen him there, upon a winter night, alone, surrounded by his drugs
and instruments and books; the shadow of his shaded lamp a monstrous beetle on
the wall, motionless among a crowd of spectral shapes raised there by the
flickering of the fire upon the quaint objects around him; some of these
phantoms (the reflection of glass vessels that held liquids), trembling at heart
like things that knew his power to uncombine them, and to give back their
component parts to fire and vapour; - who that had seen him then, his work done,
and he pondering in his chair before the rusted grate and red flame, moving his
thin mouth as if in speech, but silent as the dead, would not have said that the
man seemed haunted and the chamber too?
Who might not, by a very easy flight of fancy, have believed that everything
about him took this haunted tone, and that he lived on haunted ground?
His dwelling was so solitary and vault-like, - an old, retired part of an
ancient endowment for students, once a brave edifice, planted in an open place,
but now the obsolete whim of forgotten architects;
smoke-age-and-weather-darkened, squeezed on every side by the overgrowing of the
great city, and choked, like an old well, with stones and bricks; its small
quadrangles, lying down in very pits formed by the streets and buildings, which,
in course of time, had been constructed above its heavy chimney stalks; its old
trees, insulted by the neighbouring smoke, which deigned to droop so low when it
was very feeble and the weather very moody; its grass-plots, struggling with the
mildewed earth to be grass, or to win any show of compromise; its silent
pavements, unaccustomed to the tread of feet, and even to the observation of
eyes, except when a stray face looked down from the upper world, wondering what
nook it was; its sun-dial in a little bricked-up corner, where no sun had
straggled for a hundred years, but where, in compensation for the sun’s neglect,
the snow would lie for weeks when it lay nowhere else, and the black east wind
would spin like a huge humming-top, when in all other places it was silent and
still.
His dwelling, at its heart and core - within doors - at his fireside - was so
lowering and old, so crazy, yet so strong, with its worn-eaten beams of wood in
the ceiling, and its sturdy floor shelving downward to the great oak
chimney-piece; so environed and hemmed in by the pressure of the town yet so
remote in fashion, age, and custom; so quiet, yet so thundering with echoes when
a distant voice was raised or a door was shut, - echoes, not confined to the
many low passages and empty rooms, but rumbling and grumbling till they were
stifled in the heavy air of the forgotten Crypt where the Norman arches were
half-buried in the earth.
You should have seen him in his dwelling about twilight, in the dead winter
time.
When the wind was blowing, shrill and shrewd, with the going down of the blurred
sun. When it was just so dark, as that the forms of things were indistinct and
big - but not wholly lost. When sitters by the fire began to see wild faces and
figures, mountains and abysses, ambuscades and armies, in the coals. When
people in the streets bent down their heads and ran before the weather. When
those who were obliged to meet it, were stopped at angry corners, stung by
wandering snow-flakes alighting on the lashes of their eyes, - which fell too
sparingly, and were blown away too quickly, to leave a trace upon the frozen
ground. When windows of private houses closed up tight and warm. When lighted
gas began to burst forth in the busy and the quiet streets, fast blackening
otherwise. When stray pedestrians, shivering along the latter, looked down at
the glowing fires in kitchens, and sharpened their sharp appetites by sniffing
up the fragrance of whole miles of dinners.
When travellers by land were bitter cold, and looked wearily on gloomy
landscapes, rustling and shuddering in the blast. When mariners at sea,
outlying upon icy yards, were tossed and swung above the howling ocean
dreadfully. When lighthouses, on rocks and headlands, showed solitary and
watchful; and benighted sea-birds breasted on against their ponderous lanterns,
and fell dead. When little readers of story-books, by the firelight, trembled
to think of Cassim Baba cut into quarters, hanging in the Robbers’ Cave, or had
some small misgivings that the fierce little old woman, with the crutch, who
used to start out of the box in the merchant Abudah’s bedroom, might, one of
these nights, be found upon the stairs, in the long, cold, dusky journey up to
bed.
When, in rustic places, the last glimmering of daylight died away from the ends
of avenues; and the trees, arching overhead, were sullen and black. When, in
parks and woods, the high wet fern and sodden moss, and beds of fallen leaves,
and trunks of trees, were lost to view, in masses of impenetrable shade. When
mists arose from dyke, and fen, and river. When lights in old halls and in
cottage windows, were a cheerful sight. When the mill stopped, the wheelwright
and the blacksmith shut their workshops, the turnpike-gate closed, the plough
and harrow were left lonely in the fields, the labourer and team went home, and
the striking of the church clock had a deeper sound than at noon, and the
churchyard wicket would be swung no more that night.
When twilight everywhere released the shadows, prisoned up all day, that now
closed in and gathered like mustering swarms of ghosts. When they stood
lowering, in corners of rooms, and frowned out from behind half-opened doors.
When they had full possession of unoccupied apartments. When they danced upon
the floors, and walls, and ceilings of inhabited chambers, while the fire was
low, and withdrew like ebbing waters when it sprang into a blaze. When they
fantastically mocked the shapes of household objects, making the nurse an
ogress, the rocking-horse a monster, the wondering child, half-scared and
half-amused, a stranger to itself, - the very tongs upon the hearth, a
straddling giant with his arms a-kimbo, evidently smelling the blood of
Englishmen, and wanting to grind people’s bones to make his bread.
When these shadows brought into the minds of older people, other thoughts, and
showed them different images. When they stole from their retreats, in the
likenesses of forms and faces from the past, from the grave, from the deep, deep
gulf, where the things that might have been, and never were, are always
wandering.
When he sat, as already mentioned, gazing at the fire. When, as it rose and
fell, the shadows went and came. When he took no heed of them, with his bodily
eyes; but, let them come or let them go, looked fixedly at the fire. You should
have seen him, then.
When the sounds that had arisen with the shadows, and come out of their
lurking-places at the twilight summons, seemed to make a deeper stillness all
about him. When the wind was rumbling in the chimney, and sometimes crooning,
sometimes howling, in the house. When the old trees outside were so shaken and
beaten, that one querulous old rook, unable to sleep, protested now and then, in
a feeble, dozy, high-up “Caw!” When, at intervals, the window trembled, the
rusty vane upon the turret-top complained, the clock beneath it recorded that
another quarter of an hour was gone, or the fire collapsed and fell in with a
rattle.
- When a knock came at his door, in short, as he was sitting so, and roused him.
“Who’s that?” said he. “Come in!”
Surely there had been no figure leaning on the back of his chair; no face
looking over it. It is certain that no gliding footstep touched the floor, as
he lifted up his head, with a start, and spoke. And yet there was no mirror in
the room on whose surface his own form could have cast its shadow for a moment;
and, Something had passed darkly and gone!
“I’m humbly fearful, sir,” said a fresh-coloured busy man, holding the door open
with his foot for the admission of himself and a wooden tray he carried, and
letting it go again by very gentle and careful degrees, when he and the tray had
got in, lest it should close noisily, “that it’s a good bit past the time
to-night. But Mrs. William has been taken off her legs so often” -
“By the wind? Ay! I have heard it rising.”
“ - By the wind, sir - that it’s a mercy she got home at all. Oh dear, yes.
Yes. It was by the wind, Mr. Redlaw. By the wind.”
He had, by this time, put down the tray for dinner, and was employed in lighting
the lamp, and spreading a cloth on the table. From this employment he desisted
in a hurry, to stir and feed the fire, and then resumed it; the lamp he had
lighted, and the blaze that rose under his hand, so quickly changing the
appearance of the room, that it seemed as if the mere coming in of his fresh red
face and active manner had made the pleasant alteration.
“Mrs. William is of course subject at any time, sir, to be taken off her balance
by the elements. She is not formed superior to that.”
“No,” returned Mr. Redlaw good-naturedly, though abruptly.
“No, sir. Mrs. William may be taken off her balance by Earth; as for example,
last Sunday week, when sloppy and greasy, and she going out to tea with her
newest sister-in-law, and having a pride in herself, and wishing to appear
perfectly spotless though pedestrian. Mrs. William may be taken off her balance
by Air; as being once over-persuaded by a friend to try a swing at Peckham Fair,
which acted on her constitution instantly like a steam-boat. Mrs. William may
be taken off her balance by Fire; as on a false alarm of engines at her
mother’s, when she went two miles in her nightcap. Mrs. William may be taken
off her balance by Water; as at Battersea, when rowed into the piers by her
young nephew, Charley Swidger junior, aged twelve, which had no idea of boats
whatever. But these are elements. Mrs. William must be taken out of elements
for the strength of her character to come into play.”
As he stopped for a reply, the reply was “Yes,” in the same tone as before.
“Yes, sir. Oh dear, yes!” said Mr. Swidger, still proceeding with his
preparations, and checking them off as he made them. “That’s where it is, sir.
That’s what I always say myself, sir. Such a many of us Swidgers! - Pepper.
Why there’s my father, sir, superannuated keeper and custodian of this
Institution, eighty-seven year old. He’s a Swidger! - Spoon.”
“True, William,” was the patient and abstracted answer, when he stopped again.
“Yes, sir,” said Mr. Swidger. “That’s what I always say, sir. You may call him
the trunk of the tree! - Bread. Then you come to his successor, my unworthy
self - Salt - and Mrs. William, Swidgers both. - Knife and fork. Then you come
to all my brothers and their families, Swidgers, man and woman, boy and girl.
Why, what with cousins, uncles, aunts, and relationships of this, that, and
t’other degree, and whatnot degree, and marriages, and lyings-in, the Swidgers -
Tumbler - might take hold of hands, and make a ring round England!”
Receiving no reply at all here, from the thoughtful man whom he addressed, Mr.
William approached, him nearer, and made a feint of accidentally knocking the
table with a decanter, to rouse him. The moment he succeeded, he went on, as if
in great alacrity of acquiescence.
“Yes, sir! That’s just what I say myself, sir. Mrs. William and me have often
said so. ‘There’s Swidgers enough,’ we say, ‘without our voluntary
contributions,’ - Butter. In fact, sir, my father is a family in himself -
Castors - to take care of; and it happens all for the best that we have no child
of our own, though it’s made Mrs. William rather quiet-like, too. Quite ready
for the fowl and mashed potatoes, sir? Mrs. William said she’d dish in ten
minutes when I left the Lodge.”
“I am quite ready,” said the other, waking as from a dream, and walking slowly
to and fro.
“Mrs. William has been at it again, sir!” said the keeper, as he stood warming a
plate at the fire, and pleasantly shading his face with it. Mr. Redlaw stopped
in his walking, and an expression of interest appeared in him.
“What I always say myself, sir. She will do it! There’s a motherly feeling in
Mrs. William’s breast that must and will have went.”
“What has she done?”
“Why, sir, not satisfied with being a sort of mother to all the young gentlemen
that come up from a variety of parts, to attend your courses of lectures at this
ancient foundation - its surprising how stone-chaney catches the heat this
frosty weather, to be sure!” Here he turned the plate, and cooled his fingers.
“Well?” said Mr. Redlaw.
“That’s just what I say myself, sir,” returned Mr. William, speaking over his
shoulder, as if in ready and delighted assent. “That’s exactly where it is,
sir! There ain’t one of our students but appears to regard Mrs. William in that
light. Every day, right through the course, they puts their heads into the
Lodge, one after another, and have all got something to tell her, or something
to ask her. ‘Swidge’ is the appellation by which they speak of Mrs. William in
general, among themselves, I’m told; but that’s what I say, sir. Better be
called ever so far out of your name, if it’s done in real liking, than have it
made ever so much of, and not cared about! What’s a name for? To know a person
by. If Mrs. William is known by something better than her name - I allude to
Mrs. William’s qualities and disposition - never mind her name, though it is
Swidger, by rights. Let ’em call her Swidge, Widge, Bridge - Lord! London
Bridge, Blackfriars, Chelsea, Putney, Waterloo, or Hammersmith Suspension - if
they like.”
The close of this triumphant oration brought him and the plate to the table,
upon which he half laid and half dropped it, with a lively sense of its being
thoroughly heated, just as the subject of his praises entered the room, bearing
another tray and a lantern, and followed by a venerable old man with long grey
hair.
Mrs. William, like Mr. William, was a simple, innocent-looking person, in whose
smooth cheeks the cheerful red of her husband’s official waistcoat was very
pleasantly repeated. But whereas Mr. William’s light hair stood on end all over
his head, and seemed to draw his eyes up with it in an excess of bustling
readiness for anything, the dark brown hair of Mrs. William was carefully
smoothed down, and waved away under a trim tidy cap, in the most exact and quiet
manner imaginable. Whereas Mr. William’s very trousers hitched themselves up at
the ankles, as if it were not in their iron-grey nature to rest without looking
about them, Mrs. William’s neatly-flowered skirts - red and white, like her own
pretty face - were as composed and orderly, as if the very wind that blew so
hard out of doors could not disturb one of their folds. Whereas his coat had
something of a fly-away and half-off appearance about the collar and breast, her
little bodice was so placid and neat, that there should have been protection for
her, in it, had she needed any, with the roughest people. Who could have had
the heart to make so calm a bosom swell with grief, or throb with fear, or
flutter with a thought of shame! To whom would its repose and peace have not
appealed against disturbance, like the innocent slumber of a child!
“Punctual, of course, Milly,” said her husband, relieving her of the tray, “or
it wouldn’t be you. Here’s Mrs. William, sir! - He looks lonelier than ever
to-night,” whispering to his wife, as he was taking the tray, “and ghostlier
altogether.”
Without any show of hurry or noise, or any show of herself even, she was so calm
and quiet, Milly set the dishes she had brought upon the table, - Mr. William,
after much clattering and running about, having only gained possession of a
butter-boat of gravy, which he stood ready to serve.
“What is that the old man has in his arms?” asked Mr. Redlaw, as he sat down to
his solitary meal.
“Holly, sir,” replied the quiet voice of Milly.
“That’s what I say myself, sir,” interposed Mr. William, striking in with the
butter-boat. “Berries is so seasonable to the time of year! - Brown gravy!”
“Another Christmas come, another year gone!” murmured the Chemist, with a gloomy
sigh. “More figures in the lengthening sum of recollection that we work and
work at to our torment, till Death idly jumbles all together, and rubs all out.
So, Philip!” breaking off, and raising his voice as he addressed the old man,
standing apart, with his glistening burden in his arms, from which the quiet
Mrs. William took small branches, which she noiselessly trimmed with her
scissors, and decorated the room with, while her aged father-in-law looked on
much interested in the ceremony.
“My duty to you, sir,” returned the old man. “Should have spoke before, sir,
but know your ways, Mr. Redlaw - proud to say - and wait till spoke to! Merry
Christmas, sir, and Happy New Year, and many of ’em. Have had a pretty many of
’em myself - ha, ha! - and may take the liberty of wishing ’em. I’m
eighty-seven!”
“Have you had so many that were merry and happy?” asked the other.
“Ay, sir, ever so many,” returned the old man.
“Is his memory impaired with age? It is to be expected now,” said Mr. Redlaw,
turning to the son, and speaking lower.
“Not a morsel of it, sir,” replied Mr. William. “That’s exactly what I say
myself, sir. There never was such a memory as my father’s. He’s the most
wonderful man in the world. He don’t know what forgetting means. It’s the very
observation I’m always making to Mrs. William, sir, if you’ll believe me!”
Mr. Swidger, in his polite desire to seem to acquiesce at all events, delivered
this as if there were no iota of contradiction in it, and it were all said in
unbounded and unqualified assent.
The Chemist pushed his plate away, and, rising from the table, walked across the
room to where the old man stood looking at a little sprig of holly in his hand.
“It recalls the time when many of those years were old and new, then?” he said,
observing him attentively, and touching him on the shoulder. “Does it?”
“Oh many, many!” said Philip, half awaking from his reverie. “I’m
eighty-seven!”
“Merry and happy, was it?” asked the Chemist in a low voice. “Merry and happy,
old man?”
“Maybe as high as that, no higher,” said the old man, holding out his hand a
little way above the level of his knee, and looking retrospectively at his
questioner, “when I first remember ’em! Cold, sunshiny day it was, out
a-walking, when some one - it was my mother as sure as you stand there, though I
don’t know what her blessed face was like, for she took ill and died that
Christmas-time - told me they were food for birds. The pretty little fellow
thought - that’s me, you understand - that birds’ eyes were so bright, perhaps,
because the berries that they lived on in the winter were so bright. I
recollect that. And I’m eighty-seven!”
“Merry and happy!” mused the other, bending his dark eyes upon the stooping
figure, with a smile of compassion. “Merry and happy - and remember well?”
“Ay, ay, ay!” resumed the old man, catching the last words. “I remember ’em
well in my school time, year after year, and all the merry-making that used to
come along with them. I was a strong chap then, Mr. Redlaw; and, if you’ll
believe me, hadn’t my match at football within ten mile. Where’s my son
William? Hadn’t my match at football, William, within ten mile!”
“That’s what I always say, father!” returned the son promptly, and with great
respect. “You ARE a Swidger, if ever there was one of the family!”
“Dear!” said the old man, shaking his head as he again looked at the holly.
“His mother - my son William’s my youngest son - and I, have sat among ’em all,
boys and girls, little children and babies, many a year, when the berries like
these were not shining half so bright all round us, as their bright faces. Many
of ’em are gone; she’s gone; and my son George (our eldest, who was her pride
more than all the rest!) is fallen very low: but I can see them, when I look
here, alive and healthy, as they used to be in those days; and I can see him,
thank God, in his innocence. It’s a blessed thing to me, at eighty-seven.”
The keen look that had been fixed upon him with so much earnestness, had
gradually sought the ground.
“When my circumstances got to be not so good as formerly, through not being
honestly dealt by, and I first come here to be custodian,” said the old man, “ -
which was upwards of fifty years ago - where’s my son William? More than half a
century ago, William!”
“That’s what I say, father,” replied the son, as promptly and dutifully as
before, “that’s exactly where it is. Two times ought’s an ought, and twice five
ten, and there’s a hundred of ’em.”
“It was quite a pleasure to know that one of our founders - or more correctly
speaking,” said the old man, with a great glory in his subject and his knowledge
of it, “one of the learned gentlemen that helped endow us in Queen Elizabeth’s
time, for we were founded afore her day - left in his will, among the other
bequests he made us, so much to buy holly, for garnishing the walls and windows,
come Christmas. There was something homely and friendly in it. Being but
strange here, then, and coming at Christmas time, we took a liking for his very
picter that hangs in what used to be, anciently, afore our ten poor gentlemen
commuted for an annual stipend in money, our great Dinner Hall. - A sedate
gentleman in a peaked beard, with a ruff round his neck, and a scroll below him,
in old English letters, ‘Lord! keep my memory green!’ You know all about him,
Mr. Redlaw?”
“I know the portrait hangs there, Philip.”
“Yes, sure, it’s the second on the right, above the panelling. I was going to
say - he has helped to keep my memory green, I thank him; for going round the
building every year, as I’m a doing now, and freshening up the bare rooms with
these branches and berries, freshens up my bare old brain. One year brings back
another, and that year another, and those others numbers! At last, it seems to
me as if the birth-time of our Lord was the birth-time of all I have ever had
affection for, or mourned for, or delighted in, - and they’re a pretty many, for
I’m eighty-seven!”
“Merry and happy,” murmured Redlaw to himself.
The room began to darken strangely.
“So you see, sir,” pursued old Philip, whose hale wintry cheek had warmed into a
ruddier glow, and whose blue eyes had brightened while he spoke, “I have plenty
to keep, when I keep this present season. Now, where’s my quiet Mouse?
Chattering’s the sin of my time of life, and there’s half the building to do
yet, if the cold don’t freeze us first, or the wind don’t blow us away, or the
darkness don’t swallow us up.”
The quiet Mouse had brought her calm face to his side, and silently taken his
arm, before he finished speaking.
“Come away, my dear,” said the old man. “Mr. Redlaw won’t settle to his dinner,
otherwise, till it’s cold as the winter. I hope you’ll excuse me rambling on,
sir, and I wish you good night, and, once again, a merry - ”
“Stay!” said Mr. Redlaw, resuming his place at the table, more, it would have
seemed from his manner, to reassure the old keeper, than in any remembrance of
his own appetite. “Spare me another moment, Philip. William, you were going to
tell me something to your excellent wife’s honour. It will not be disagreeable
to her to hear you praise her. What was it?”
“Why, that’s where it is, you see, sir,” returned Mr. William Swidger, looking
towards his wife in considerable embarrassment. “Mrs. William’s got her eye
upon me.”
“But you’re not afraid of Mrs. William’s eye?”
“Why, no, sir,” returned Mr. Swidger, “that’s what I say myself. It wasn’t made
to be afraid of. It wouldn’t have been made so mild, if that was the
intention. But I wouldn’t like to - Milly! - him, you know. Down in the
Buildings.”
Mr. William, standing behind the table, and rummaging disconcertedly among the
objects upon it, directed persuasive glances at Mrs. William, and secret jerks
of his head and thumb at Mr. Redlaw, as alluring her towards him.
“Him, you know, my love,” said Mr. William. “Down in the Buildings. Tell, my
dear! You’re the works of Shakespeare in comparison with myself. Down in the
Buildings, you know, my love. - Student.”
“Student?” repeated Mr. Redlaw, raising his head.
“That’s what I say, sir!” cried Mr. William, in the utmost animation of assent.
“If it wasn’t the poor student down in the Buildings, why should you wish to
hear it from Mrs. William’s lips? Mrs. William, my dear - Buildings.”
“I didn’t know,” said Milly, with a quiet frankness, free from any haste or
confusion, “that William had said anything about it, or I wouldn’t have come. I
asked him not to. It’s a sick young gentleman, sir - and very poor, I am afraid
- who is too ill to go home this holiday-time, and lives, unknown to any one, in
but a common kind of lodging for a gentleman, down in Jerusalem Buildings.
That’s all, sir.”
“Why have I never heard of him?” said the Chemist, rising hurriedly. “Why has
he not made his situation known to me? Sick! - give me my hat and cloak. Poor!
- what house? - what number?”
“Oh, you mustn’t go there, sir,” said Milly, leaving her father-in-law, and
calmly confronting him with her collected little face and folded hands.
“Not go there?”
“Oh dear, no!” said Milly, shaking her head as at a most manifest and
self-evident impossibility. “It couldn’t be thought of!”
“What do you mean? Why not?”
“Why, you see, sir,” said Mr. William Swidger, persuasively and confidentially,
“that’s what I say. Depend upon it, the young gentleman would never have made
his situation known to one of his own sex. Mrs. Williams has got into his
confidence, but that’s quite different. They all confide in Mrs. William; they
all trust her. A man, sir, couldn’t have got a whisper out of him; but woman,
sir, and Mrs. William combined - !”
“There is good sense and delicacy in what you say, William,” returned Mr. Redlaw,
observant of the gentle and composed face at his shoulder. And laying his
finger on his lip, he secretly put his purse into her hand.
“Oh dear no, sir!” cried Milly, giving it back again. “Worse and worse!
Couldn’t be dreamed of!”
Such a staid matter-of-fact housewife she was, and so unruffled by the momentary
haste of this rejection, that, an instant afterwards, she was tidily picking up
a few leaves which had strayed from between her scissors and her apron, when she
had arranged the holly.
Finding, when she rose from her stooping posture, that Mr. Redlaw was still
regarding her with doubt and astonishment, she quietly repeated - looking about,
the while, for any other fragments that might have escaped her observation:
“Oh dear no, sir! He said that of all the world he would not be known to you,
or receive help from you - though he is a student in your class. I have made no
terms of secrecy with you, but I trust to your honour completely.”
“Why did he say so?”
“Indeed I can’t tell, sir,” said Milly, after thinking a little, “because I am
not at all clever, you know; and I wanted to be useful to him in making things
neat and comfortable about him, and employed myself that way. But I know he is
poor, and lonely, and I think he is somehow neglected too. - How dark it is!”
The room had darkened more and more. There was a very heavy gloom and shadow
gathering behind the Chemist’s chair.
“What more about him?” he asked.
“He is engaged to be married when he can afford it,” said Milly, “and is
studying, I think, to qualify himself to earn a living. I have seen, a long
time, that he has studied hard and denied himself much. - How very dark it is!”
“It’s turned colder, too,” said the old man, rubbing his hands. “There’s a
chill and dismal feeling in the room. Where’s my son William? William, my boy,
turn the lamp, and rouse the fire!”
Milly’s voice resumed, like quiet music very softly played:
“He muttered in his broken sleep yesterday afternoon, after talking to me” (this
was to herself) “about some one dead, and some great wrong done that could never
be forgotten; but whether to him or to another person, I don’t know. Not by
him, I am sure.”
“And, in short, Mrs. William, you see - which she wouldn’t say herself, Mr.
Redlaw, if she was to stop here till the new year after this next one - ” said
Mr. William, coming up to him to speak in his ear, “has done him worlds of
good! Bless you, worlds of good! All at home just the same as ever - my father
made as snug and comfortable - not a crumb of litter to be found in the house,
if you were to offer fifty pound ready money for it - Mrs. William apparently
never out of the way - yet Mrs. William backwards and forwards, backwards and
forwards, up and down, up and down, a mother to him!”
The room turned darker and colder, and the gloom and shadow gathering behind the
chair was heavier.
“Not content with this, sir, Mrs. William goes and finds, this very night, when
she was coming home (why it’s not above a couple of hours ago), a creature more
like a young wild beast than a young child, shivering upon a door-step. What
does Mrs. William do, but brings it home to dry it, and feed it, and keep it
till our old Bounty of food and flannel is given away, on Christmas morning! If
it ever felt a fire before, it’s as much as ever it did; for it’s sitting in the
old Lodge chimney, staring at ours as if its ravenous eyes would never shut
again. It’s sitting there, at least,” said Mr. William, correcting himself, on
reflection, “unless it’s bolted!”
“Heaven keep her happy!” said the Chemist aloud, “and you too, Philip! and you,
William! I must consider what to do in this. I may desire to see this student,
I’ll not detain you any longer now. Good-night!”
“I thank’ee, sir, I thank’ee!” said the old man, “for Mouse, and for my son
William, and for myself. Where’s my son William? William, you take the lantern
and go on first, through them long dark passages, as you did last year and the
year afore. Ha ha! I remember - though I’m eighty-seven! ‘Lord, keep my
memory green!’ It’s a very good prayer, Mr. Redlaw, that of the learned
gentleman in the peaked beard, with a ruff round his neck - hangs up, second on
the right above the panelling, in what used to be, afore our ten poor gentlemen
commuted, our great Dinner Hall. ‘Lord, keep my memory green!’ It’s very good
and pious, sir. Amen! Amen!”
As they passed out and shut the heavy door, which, however carefully withheld,
fired a long train of thundering reverberations when it shut at last, the room
turned darker.
As he fell a musing in his chair alone, the healthy holly withered on the wall,
and dropped - dead branches.
As the gloom and shadow thickened behind him, in that place where it had been
gathering so darkly, it took, by slow degrees, - or out of it there came, by
some unreal, unsubstantial process - not to be traced by any human sense, - an
awful likeness of himself!
Ghastly and cold, colourless in its leaden face and hands, but with his
features, and his bright eyes, and his grizzled hair, and dressed in the gloomy
shadow of his dress, it came into his terrible appearance of existence,
motionless, without a sound. As he leaned his arm upon the elbow of his chair,
ruminating before the fire, it leaned upon the chair-back, close above him, with
its appalling copy of his face looking where his face looked, and bearing the
expression his face bore.
This, then, was the Something that had passed and gone already. This was the
dread companion of the haunted man!
It took, for some moments, no more apparent heed of him, than he of it. The
Christmas Waits were playing somewhere in the distance, and, through his
thoughtfulness, he seemed to listen to the music. It seemed to listen too.
At length he spoke; without moving or lifting up his face.
“Here again!” he said.
“Here again,” replied the Phantom.
“I see you in the fire,” said the haunted man; “I hear you in music, in the
wind, in the dead stillness of the night.”
The Phantom moved its head, assenting.
“Why do you come, to haunt me thus?”
“I come as I am called,” replied the Ghost.
“No. Unbidden,” exclaimed the Chemist.
“Unbidden be it,” said the Spectre. “It is enough. I am here.”
Hitherto the light of the fire had shone on the two faces - if the dread
lineaments behind the chair might be called a face - both addressed towards it,
as at first, and neither looking at the other. But, now, the haunted man
turned, suddenly, and stared upon the Ghost. The Ghost, as sudden in its
motion, passed to before the chair, and stared on him.
The living man, and the animated image of himself dead, might so have looked,
the one upon the other. An awful survey, in a lonely and remote part of an
empty old pile of building, on a winter night, with the loud wind going by upon
its journey of mystery - whence or whither, no man knowing since the world began
- and the stars, in unimaginable millions, glittering through it, from eternal
space, where the world’s bulk is as a grain, and its hoary age is infancy.
“Look upon me!” said the Spectre. “I am he, neglected in my youth, and
miserably poor, who strove and suffered, and still strove and suffered, until I
hewed out knowledge from the mine where it was buried, and made rugged steps
thereof, for my worn feet to rest and rise on.”
“I am that man,” returned the Chemist.
“No mother’s self-denying love,” pursued the Phantom, “no father’s counsel,
aided me. A stranger came into my father’s place when I was but a child, and I
was easily an alien from my mother’s heart. My parents, at the best, were of
that sort whose care soon ends, and whose duty is soon done; who cast their
offspring loose, early, as birds do theirs; and, if they do well, claim the
merit; and, if ill, the pity.”
It paused, and seemed to tempt and goad him with its look, and with the manner
of its speech, and with its smile.
“I am he,” pursued the Phantom, “who, in this struggle upward, found a friend.
I made him - won him - bound him to me! We worked together, side by side. All
the love and confidence that in my earlier youth had had no outlet, and found no
expression, I bestowed on him.”
“Not all,” said Redlaw, hoarsely.
“No, not all,” returned the Phantom. “I had a sister.”
The haunted man, with his head resting on his hands, replied “I had!” The
Phantom, with an evil smile, drew closer to the chair, and resting its chin upon
its folded hands, its folded hands upon the back, and looking down into his face
with searching eyes, that seemed instinct with fire, went on:
“Such glimpses of the light of home as I had ever known, had streamed from her.
How young she was, how fair, how loving! I took her to the first poor roof that
I was master of, and made it rich. She came into the darkness of my life, and
made it bright. - She is before me!”
“I saw her, in the fire, but now. I hear her in music, in the wind, in the dead
stillness of the night,” returned the haunted man.
“Did he love her?” said the Phantom, echoing his contemplative tone. “I think
he did, once. I am sure he did. Better had she loved him less - less secretly,
less dearly, from the shallower depths of a more divided heart!”
“Let me forget it!” said the Chemist, with an angry motion of his hand. “Let me
blot it from my memory!”
The Spectre, without stirring, and with its unwinking, cruel eyes still fixed
upon his face, went on:
“A dream, like hers, stole upon my own life.”
“It did,” said Redlaw.
“A love, as like hers,” pursued the Phantom, “as my inferior nature might
cherish, arose in my own heart. I was too poor to bind its object to my fortune
then, by any thread of promise or entreaty. I loved her far too well, to seek
to do it. But, more than ever I had striven in my life, I strove to climb!
Only an inch gained, brought me something nearer to the height. I toiled up!
In the late pauses of my labour at that time, - my sister (sweet companion!)
still sharing with me the expiring embers and the cooling hearth, - when day was
breaking, what pictures of the future did I see!”
“I saw them, in the fire, but now,” he murmured. “They come back to me in
music, in the wind, in the dead stillness of the night, in the revolving years.”
“ - Pictures of my own domestic life, in aftertime, with her who was the
inspiration of my toil. Pictures of my sister, made the wife of my dear friend,
on equal terms - for he had some inheritance, we none - pictures of our sobered
age and mellowed happiness, and of the golden links, extending back so far, that
should bind us, and our children, in a radiant garland,” said the Phantom.
“Pictures,” said the haunted man, “that were delusions. Why is it my doom to
remember them too well!”
“Delusions,” echoed the Phantom in its changeless voice, and glaring on him with
its changeless eyes. “For my friend (in whose breast my confidence was locked
as in my own), passing between me and the centre of the system of my hopes and
struggles, won her to himself, and shattered my frail universe. My sister,
doubly dear, doubly devoted, doubly cheerful in my home, lived on to see me
famous, and my old ambition so rewarded when its spring was broken, and then - ”
“Then died,” he interposed. “Died, gentle as ever; happy; and with no concern
but for her brother. Peace!”
The Phantom watched him silently.
“Remembered!” said the haunted man, after a pause. “Yes. So well remembered,
that even now, when years have passed, and nothing is more idle or more
visionary to me than the boyish love so long outlived, I think of it with
sympathy, as if it were a younger brother’s or a son’s. Sometimes I even wonder
when her heart first inclined to him, and how it had been affected towards me. -
Not lightly, once, I think. - But that is nothing. Early unhappiness, a wound
from a hand I loved and trusted, and a loss that nothing can replace, outlive
such fancies.”
“Thus,” said the Phantom, “I bear within me a Sorrow and a Wrong. Thus I prey
upon myself. Thus, memory is my curse; and, if I could forget my sorrow and my
wrong, I would!”
“Mocker!” said the Chemist, leaping up, and making, with a wrathful hand, at the
throat of his other self. “Why have I always that taunt in my ears?”
“Forbear!” exclaimed the Spectre in an awful voice. “Lay a hand on Me, and
die!”
He stopped midway, as if its words had paralysed him, and stood looking on it.
It had glided from him; it had its arm raised high in warning; and a smile
passed over its unearthly features, as it reared its dark figure in triumph.
“If I could forget my sorrow and wrong, I would,” the Ghost repeated. “If I
could forget my sorrow and my wrong, I would!”
“Evil spirit of myself,” returned the haunted man, in a low, trembling tone, “my
life is darkened by that incessant whisper.”
“It is an echo,” said the Phantom.
“If it be an echo of my thoughts - as now, indeed, I know it is,” rejoined the
haunted man, “why should I, therefore, be tormented? It is not a selfish
thought. I suffer it to range beyond myself. All men and women have their
sorrows, - most of them their wrongs; ingratitude, and sordid jealousy, and
interest, besetting all degrees of life. Who would not forget their sorrows and
their wrongs?”
“Who would not, truly, and be happier and better for it?” said the Phantom.
“These revolutions of years, which we commemorate,” proceeded Redlaw, “what do
they recall! Are there any minds in which they do not re-awaken some sorrow, or
some trouble? What is the remembrance of the old man who was here to-night? A
tissue of sorrow and trouble.”
“But common natures,” said the Phantom, with its evil smile upon its glassy
face, “unenlightened minds and ordinary spirits, do not feel or reason on these
things like men of higher cultivation and profounder thought.”
“Tempter,” answered Redlaw, “whose hollow look and voice I dread more than words
can express, and from whom some dim foreshadowing of greater fear is stealing
over me while I speak, I hear again an echo of my own mind.”
“Receive it as a proof that I am powerful,” returned the Ghost. “Hear what I
offer! Forget the sorrow, wrong, and trouble you have known!”
“Forget them!” he repeated.
“I have the power to cancel their remembrance - to leave but very faint,
confused traces of them, that will die out soon,” returned the Spectre. “Say!
Is it done?”
“Stay!” cried the haunted man, arresting by a terrified gesture the uplifted
hand. “I tremble with distrust and doubt of you; and the dim fear you cast upon
me deepens into a nameless horror I can hardly bear. - I would not deprive
myself of any kindly recollection, or any sympathy that is good for me, or
others. What shall I lose, if I assent to this? What else will pass from my
remembrance?”
“No knowledge; no result of study; nothing but the intertwisted chain of
feelings and associations, each in its turn dependent on, and nourished by, the
banished recollections. Those will go.”
“Are they so many?” said the haunted man, reflecting in alarm.
“They have been wont to show themselves in the fire, in music, in the wind, in
the dead stillness of the night, in the revolving years,” returned the Phantom
scornfully.
“In nothing else?”
The Phantom held its peace.
But having stood before him, silent, for a little while, it moved towards the
fire; then stopped.
“Decide!” it said, “before the opportunity is lost!”
“A moment! I call Heaven to witness,” said the agitated man, “that I have never
been a hater of any kind, - never morose, indifferent, or hard, to anything
around me. If, living here alone, I have made too much of all that was and
might have been, and too little of what is, the evil, I believe, has fallen on
me, and not on others. But, if there were poison in my body, should I not,
possessed of antidotes and knowledge how to use them, use them? If there be
poison in my mind, and through this fearful shadow I can cast it out, shall I
not cast it out?”
“Say,” said the Spectre, “is it done?”
“A moment longer!” he answered hurriedly. “I would forget it if I could! Have
I thought that, alone, or has it been the thought of thousands upon thousands,
generation after generation? All human memory is fraught with sorrow and
trouble. My memory is as the memory of other men, but other men have not this
choice. Yes, I close the bargain. Yes! I WILL forget my sorrow, wrong, and
trouble!”
“Say,” said the Spectre, “is it done?”
“It is!”
“IT IS. And take this with you, man whom I here renounce! The gift that I have
given, you shall give again, go where you will. Without recovering yourself the
power that you have yielded up, you shall henceforth destroy its like in all
whom you approach. Your wisdom has discovered that the memory of sorrow, wrong,
and trouble is the lot of all mankind, and that mankind would be the happier, in
its other memories, without it. Go! Be its benefactor! Freed from such
remembrance, from this hour, carry involuntarily the blessing of such freedom
with you. Its diffusion is inseparable and inalienable from you. Go! Be happy
in the good you have won, and in the good you do!”
The Phantom, which had held its bloodless hand above him while it spoke, as if
in some unholy invocation, or some ban; and which had gradually advanced its
eyes so close to his, that he could see how they did not participate in the
terrible smile upon its face, but were a fixed, unalterable, steady horror
melted before him and was gone.
As he stood rooted to the spot, possessed by fear and wonder, and imagining he
heard repeated in melancholy echoes, dying away fainter and fainter, the words,
“Destroy its like in all whom you approach!” a shrill cry reached his ears. It
came, not from the passages beyond the door, but from another part of the old
building, and sounded like the cry of some one in the dark who had lost the way.
He looked confusedly upon his hands and limbs, as if to be assured of his
identity, and then shouted in reply, loudly and wildly; for there was a
strangeness and terror upon him, as if he too were lost.
The cry responding, and being nearer, he caught up the lamp, and raised a heavy
curtain in the wall, by which he was accustomed to pass into and out of the
theatre where he lectured, - which adjoined his room. Associated with youth and
animation, and a high amphitheatre of faces which his entrance charmed to
interest in a moment, it was a ghostly place when all this life was faded out of
it, and stared upon him like an emblem of Death.
“Halloa!” he cried. “Halloa! This way! Come to the light!” When, as he held
the curtain with one hand, and with the other raised the lamp and tried to
pierce the gloom that filled the place, something rushed past him into the room
like a wild-cat, and crouched down in a corner.
“What is it?” he said, hastily.
He might have asked “What is it?” even had he seen it well, as presently he did
when he stood looking at it gathered up in its corner.
A bundle of tatters, held together by a hand, in size and form almost an
infant’s, but in its greedy, desperate little clutch, a bad old man’s. A face
rounded and smoothed by some half-dozen years, but pinched and twisted by the
experiences of a life. Bright eyes, but not youthful. Naked feet, beautiful in
their childish delicacy, - ugly in the blood and dirt that cracked upon them. A
baby savage, a young monster, a child who had never been a child, a creature who
might live to take the outward form of man, but who, within, would live and
perish a mere beast.
Used, already, to be worried and hunted like a beast, the boy crouched down as
he was looked at, and looked back again, and interposed his arm to ward off the
expected blow.
“I’ll bite,” he said, “if you hit me!”
The time had been, and not many minutes since, when such a sight as this would
have wrung the Chemist’s heart. He looked upon it now, coldly; but with a heavy
effort to remember something - he did not know what - he asked the boy what he
did there, and whence he came.
“Where’s the woman?” he replied. “I want to find the woman.”
“Who?”
“The woman. Her that brought me here, and set me by the large fire. She was so
long gone, that I went to look for her, and lost myself. I don’t want you. I
want the woman.”
He made a spring, so suddenly, to get away, that the dull sound of his naked
feet upon the floor was near the curtain, when Redlaw caught him by his rags.
“Come! you let me go!” muttered the boy, struggling, and clenching his teeth.
“I’ve done nothing to you. Let me go, will you, to the woman!”
“That is not the way. There is a nearer one,” said Redlaw, detaining him, in
the same blank effort to remember some association that ought, of right, to bear
upon this monstrous object. “What is your name?”
“Got none.”
“Where do you live?
“Live! What’s that?”
The boy shook his hair from his eyes to look at him for a moment, and then,
twisting round his legs and wrestling with him, broke again into his repetition
of “You let me go, will you? I want to find the woman.”
The Chemist led him to the door. “This way,” he said, looking at him still
confusedly, but with repugnance and avoidance, growing out of his coldness.
“I’ll take you to her.”
The sharp eyes in the child’s head, wandering round the room, lighted on the
table where the remnants of the dinner were.
“Give me some of that!” he said, covetously.
“Has she not fed you?”
“I shall be hungry again to-morrow, sha’n’t I? Ain’t I hungry every day?”
Finding himself released, he bounded at the table like some small animal of
prey, and hugging to his breast bread and meat, and his own rags, all together,
said:
“There! Now take me to the woman!”
As the Chemist, with a new-born dislike to touch him, sternly motioned him to
follow, and was going out of the door, he trembled and stopped.
“The gift that I have given, you shall give again, go where you will!”
The Phantom’s words were blowing in the wind, and the wind blew chill upon him.
“I’ll not go there, to-night,” he murmured faintly. “I’ll go nowhere to-night.
Boy! straight down this long-arched passage, and past the great dark door into
the yard, - you see the fire shining on the window there.”
“The woman’s fire?” inquired the boy.
He nodded, and the naked feet had sprung away. He came back with his lamp,
locked his door hastily, and sat down in his chair, covering his face like one
who was frightened at himself.
For now he was, indeed, alone. Alone, alone.
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